webnovelfull Chapter 423: The Wholesome Assassin
Chapter 423: The Wholesome Assassin
....
The red recording lights flickered and died, plunging the studio back into standard overhead lighting.
"And we are clear. Great tape, everyone." the floor director announced. His voice instantly popped the warm, intimate bubble that had enveloped the interview set for the last twenty minutes.
Claire Weston exhaled a long, genuine breath, setting her notes aside.
In her two decades of entertainment journalism, she had conducted hundreds of press junkets.
Most actors were trained to give polished, sanitized answers that hit the studio’s marketing points perfectly but offered absolutely nothing real.
What Keanu and Seren had just done was the exact opposite.
"Thank you both." Claire said, standing up and offering her hand. "Honestly, that was one of the most genuinely refreshing interviews I’ve done in years. The studio isn’t just going to be happy but also ecstatic."
"Thank you, Claire." Keanu smiled, standing up and shaking her hand before immediately turning to help Seren out of her chair, a completely unconscious gesture of habit.
Seren smoothed her impeccably tailored blazer, offering Claire a polite nod. "Hopefully, it helps the movie. Though I am fairly certain my brother is going to change the locks on my apartment for the flip-flop comment."
Claire laughed. "If he does, you have it on tape for millions of people to see that he’s just a misunderstood workaholic who desperately needs adult supervision. You’ve got the court of public opinion on your side now."
As Keanu and Seren walked off the soundstage, their hands casually linked, the crew watched them go with a collective, almost unified softness.
....
Claire was right.
LIE Studios didn’t wait to release the interview.
They dropped it the very next morning on their official channels and syndicated it across major entertainment networks.
The PR department didn’t even bother cutting it down into short soundbites; they released the entire twenty-minute segment raw and uncut.
And the internet did exactly what the internet does best: it completely lost its collective mind.
By noon, the video had already amassed four million views, and by three in the afternoon, that number had climbed past ten million.
The promotional strategy for [John Wick] had initially been built around brutal, neon-drenched action and Keanu’s bold claim of ’redefining the genre’, The audience was primed for a dark, gritty assassin movie.
Instead, they were suddenly handed a twenty-minute video of the deadliest man on screen looking at his girlfriend with the absolute, unfiltered devotion of a golden retriever, while she ruthlessly roasted the most intimidating director in Hollywood.
But amidst all the viral clips of Keanu’s laughter and Seren’s sharp wit, one singular image effortlessly took center stage across every social media platform, forum, and film community online.
It was the photo Seren had taken of Regal on his very first day on a film set.
....
[Twitter | Trending Worldwide: #1 - #KeanuAndSeren #2 - #JohnWick #3 - #RegalsFlipFlops #4 - #SerenSeraphsail #5 - #ProtectThem]
@Cinephile_Theory (142K likes)
–We went into this interview expecting high-octane hype for a movie called John Wick, and we left with a full-blown romantic comedy, a family drama, and the realization that Keanu and Regal are literal hyper-focused psychopaths when they are on a set. 39.4°C (103°F) FEVER?!
@FilmBuff92: For real. Keanu plays the deadliest assassin on earth but looks at Seren like she invented the concept of breathing. The contrast is lethal.
@DirectorCut: "A future director." The sheer, unadulterated audacity of Regal to say that while being completely broke. And he was right!
@FAFA99: Executing complex, live-action gun-fu choreography, throwing up in a bucket between takes, and then stepping right back into the neon lights? Keanu isn’t acting. He is John Wick.
@Cutter: And Regal shivering behind the monitor in a heavy coat and scarf, refusing to sit down with a 38°C fever just to keep the schedule alive. Seren watching them silently agree to a mutual suicide pact for art is the most insane behind-the-scenes lore I’ve ever heard.
@Fan_Official: "I get a bit jealous seeing just how close those two idiots are now... I’m pretty sure Gwen would agree with me, too." Can we talk about how Seren and Gwen Stacy are literally fighting for their lives against the ultimate Hollywood bromance?
@StarkIndustries_00: Regal finishing a grueling 14-hour shoot or an intense gaming session just to look at his sister and say, "Thanks for choosing Keanu, otherwise I’d never have met my best buddy" is peak sibling behavior.
@ScreenRant_Enjoyer: Let’s appreciate Claire’s face when Keanu asked her how a normal human introduces themselves. She knew she was sitting on gold. "Probably with my name and what I do for a living." Normal people, Claire. Not Regal.
....
The absolute focal point of the entire internet, however, wasn’t romance or the brotherly banter.
It was the grainy, low-res image that Seren had guarded on her phone for years.
Within five minutes of the broadcast, high-definition screencaps of the lockscreen were being upscaled, analyzed, and shared across every social platform.
@Archive_Master: This photo is literally history. Look at the quality, this is an old phone camera, bad lighting, zero professional grading.
–Just a kid named Regal standing behind a cheap camera with a smirk that says, "I am about to take over this entire industry."
@IndieFilm_Kid: It’s crazy to think that this was the literal first day of [Following]. No budget, no studio backing, no billions of dollars. Just a guy who dropped out of college, almost punched his sister’s boyfriend, and then changed cinema forever.
@Pixel_Perfect: The fact that Seren took this photo on a whim, without knowing what they would all become, and kept it as her lockscreen for years... I’m crying in the club rn.
@Regal_Stan: That grin. He didn’t just hope he’d make it. He knew. The sheer confidence radiating from a broke college dropout is terrifying.
@MemeGod_X:Regal today: Manages multi-million dollar budgets, commands global box offices, dominates Hollywood. Regal in the photo:[Smirks in broke future director] "Hey man, want to act in my zero-budget movie after I almost deck you?"
@Keanu_Lovers: And Keanu actually said yes! They really are two idiots who found each other.
@ActionJunkie99: The marketing for John Wick is insane. You have trailers of Keanu headshotting thirty dudes in a nightclub, and then you have this interview where he looks like a soft, giggly boyfriend who just wants to hold his girl’s hand. The DUALITY of this man!
@IndustryTracker: Look at the engagement metrics. Usually, press junkets pull maybe 500k views tops. This interview is sitting at 12 Million in less than a day. By humanizing Regal and framing Keanu’s dedication through a real, grounded relationship, LIE Studios just secured the female demographic for an R-rated action movie. Regal is playing 4D chess.
@MeTuber_DJ_Fan: DJ is going to have a field day with this. Regal’s untouchable, mysterious "auteur" aura just got completely shattered by his own twin sister.
....
[LIE Studios | Regal’s Office]
"So." Simon said, leaning against the doorframe of Regal’s office, holding a tablet and wearing a grin that could only be described as violently gleeful. "I just checked the wardrobe department. Seren is hiding, but I managed to secure the asset."
Regal, who was currently reviewing the final marketing spread for [John Wick], didn’t look up from his monitors. "Simon, if you value your line producer credit, you will turn around and walk out of my office."
"Oh, I value it." Simon said, stepping fully into the room. He held up a single, bright orange flip-flop. "But I value this more. I’m framing it. I’m putting it in the studio lobby next to the Oscar you won for directing."
Regal finally stopped typing. He closed his eyes, pinching the bridge of his nose.
Samantha, standing near the window, was valiantly trying, and failing to suppress a laugh.
She coughed politely into her fist. "The interview is currently the number one trending video globally, Regal. The pre-sale ticket metrics for [John Wick] just spiked by 310% in the last four hours. We’re tracking for a $45 million opening weekend, which is unheard of for an original R-rated action IP."
"I am aware of the metrics, Samantha." Regal said, his voice dangerously calm. "I am also aware that my Wikipedia page was edited an hour ago to include a sub-section titled ’Footwear Controversies’."
Simon completely broke, bursting into loud, echoing laughter. "She destroyed you, man! She went on national television and told the world you can’t dress yourself!"
"It was a one time thing dude." Regal muttered defensively.
"I think it’s brilliant." Simon chimed in, walking into the office with two cups of coffee. He handed one to Regal. "You’ve spent the last six years cultivating this image of an untouchable, calculating genius. It intimidates people. Seren just humanized you to the entire world. People don’t just respect you now; they find you endearing."
Regal grumbled, taking a sip of the black coffee. "But what if I want to be feared?"
"Too late." Darren smirked. "The internet has decided you are a lovable idiot savant who needs his sister to pay for his noodles."
Regal set his coffee down, folding his hands on the desk. He looked at the three of them, his expression slowly shifting from mild annoyance back to the sharp, calculated focus of a director who knew exactly what he was doing.
Because the truth was, Regal wasn’t actually mad.
He could have spiked the interview, and told Claire Weston to cut the personal questions.
He had final approval over all marketing materials released by LIE Studios. If he hadn’t wanted the world to see that side of him, or Keanu, or Seren, the footage would never have left the soundstage.
But he had let it go out.
"The romantic, wholesome narrative has saturated the timeline." Regal said, his voice dropping an octave into business mode. "Everyone is currently distracted by how sweet Keanu is."
"They are." Samantha nodded, checking her tablet. "The sentiment analysis is 98% positive. It’s a love-fest out there."
"Good." Regal smirked, a dangerous, predatory glint returning to his eyes. "Now, we break their necks."
Simon raised an eyebrow. "Break their necks?"
"We have them lulled into a false sense of security." Regal stood up, walking around his desk. "They think they are going to see a movie starring the internet’s favorite golden-retriever boyfriend. We need to remind them exactly what [John Wick] is."
He looked at Samantha.
"Drop the Red Circle trailer. Right now."
Samantha’s eyes widened. "The Red Circle club sequence? Regal, that’s the most violent, relentless piece of marketing we have. Ludwig’s synth track over Keanu executing thirty guys in neon lighting. We weren’t scheduled to drop that until next week."
"I don’t care about the schedule." Regal said. "Drop it now. While the interview is still trending at number one. I want the algorithm to put them side-by-side, and the audience to watch Keanu kiss my sister’s hand, scroll down, and immediately watch him snap a Russian mobster’s neck to a techno beat."
Darren let out a low whistle, realizing the sheer psychological whiplash Regal was aiming for. "That is... evil. You’re going to give the internet a collective heart attack."
"I am going to redefine action movies." Regal corrected, echoing Keanu’s famous tweet. "Do it."
Samantha didn’t hesitate. Her fingers flew across her tablet, authorizing the release through the digital marketing team.
"Trailer is live." she announced a moment later.
....
On the internet, peace lasted exactly twelve more minutes.
Millions of people, still riding the high of the wholesome, heartwarming interview, received a notification from LIE Studios.
They clicked on the new [John Wick] trailer.
They were met with the suffocating, heavy bass of Ludwig Göransson’s Shepard tone, the metallic clack-shhk of a P30L slide being racked in absolute silence, and then an explosion of relentless, surgical, hyper-violent gun-fu choreography drenched in violet and pink neon.
It was one minute and forty seconds of absolute cinematic brutality. Keanu Reeves moves not like an actor, but like a force of nature – a machine built solely for execution.
The whiplash was instantaneous, and it was historic.
....
Twitter - Trending Worldwide: #1 - #JohnWick #2 - #BabaYaga #3 - #KeanuReeves #4 - #WhatDidIJustWatch
@Junkie109: REGAL YOU SICK BASTARD!!! You literally just gave us a video of Keanu being the sweetest man alive, and then dropped a trailer of him executing half the Russian mob with the coldness of a terminator! MY BRAIN CANNOT PROCESS THIS!
@FilmCriticAnna: The marketing strategy for John Wick will be studied in universities. They used the interview to make you fall in love with the actor, and they used the trailer to make you terrified of the character.
@CinemaSage_TX: I am shaking. That nightclub sequence? And the gunshots matched the beat of the music? Zack Barg’s editing is flawless. Keanu wasn’t lying when he stated Regal is actually redefining the action genre.
@PopCultureNerd: Me five minutes ago: "Aww, Keanu is such a soft boyfriend!" Me right now: "OH MY GOD HE JUST SHOT THAT GUY IN THE KNEECAP AND STABBED HIM WITH A PENCIL. BABA YAGA IS REAL."
....
Back in his office, Regal watched the engagement numbers for the Red Circle trailer obliterate the servers, his phone vibrating endlessly on the mahogany desk.
He didn’t bother looking at it.
The board was set, the audience was hooked, terrified, and completely enthralled.
He turned to the window, looking out over the sprawling lot of LIE Studios.
Let the Boogeyman arrive.
....
.
[To be continued...]
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