Superman from the comics: Starting with the Black Robe

Chapter 33 Fleeting Moments

The origin of Deadpool's name is quite darkly humorous.

The term "Deadpool" originally came about as a pastime for a group of desperate people with nowhere to go and no future. They would write their names on a blackboard and bet on each other to see who would die first.

Then comes the humor of this bet: Wade Wilson, a cancer patient, participates in the bet and, by a twist of fate, gains the ability to live forever.

Even if everyone on that blackboard dies, even if everyone he knows turns to dust, even if his universe perishes, he will never die. He will always be the big winner in the Deadpool game.

"Hey Tingting!!! Nobody wants to hear this boring origin story. These days, audiences just want to fast-forward to the parts about killing people or Cao Pi!"

Deadpool practically scrambled to get closer, appearing before Joey in no time. It was the first time he'd ever seen a Superman so young.

"Your version seems more handsome, and you look even younger than Tom Welling when he first appeared on screen!"

"Wait, what the hell is Superman?" Deadpool suddenly realized.

"Wait a minute, where did those lousy pieces of equipment from the Time Mutation Management Bureau end up? Is this still Marvel?"

It's not surprising that there's a Deep Dark Fantastic version of the X-Men in this universe. The comic book editors have already done everything they can, and even he sometimes has to play the good guy. It's not a big deal for the X-Men to be villains.

But it's a bit unbelievable that the X-Men and Superman would appear together, especially since Darth Micky and Warner the dog haven't been getting along lately.

"oh!"

Thinking of this, Deadpool quickly signaled to his cameraman to change the camera's position:

"Yes, pan the camera down and just film me, leaving the red cape part in the shot! Clever me!"

Deadpool isn't Steven Spielberg; he doesn't have the "face fruit" (meaning he can save face). If he were to film Superman in his entirety, he'd be in court with Warner Bros. tomorrow.

"On another note, super..."

Deadpool, from the world's most copyright-respecting company, almost couldn't control his tongue:

"Ahem, Cavill! Yes, Cavill, what brings you here? Are you having a party with these X... no, I mean, the G-Men? I just came out from inside, their party's almost over, you'd better hurry if you want to join."

"No. Did you see a girl inside? Blonde, about this tall, her name was Laurie Lemon, she looked a little silly..."

Joey obviously wanted to ask Deadpool the same question, but finding Laurie was more important at the moment. Deadpool wasn't a good guy in any universe, but at least he was a familiar face and someone he could communicate with normally.

Deadpool is so smart that even without secretly flipping through the script, he understood what was going on from Joey's eyes. Superman cares a lot about this girl.

But based on his investigation during his stroll around the manor, it's safe to say that the good days in this world may be coming to an end.

Because of what the G-Men in this universe do behind the scenes, not to mention Disney and 21st Century Fox, even if it were shown in a movie produced in the San Fernando Valley or Tokyo Cool, it wouldn't be able to be shown.

It's estimated that only a tiny bit of it will be shown in those unreleased films that Czechs made specifically for Germans.

Deadpool desperately wanted to share his discovery with Superman himself. After all, he was practically Superman's colleague back when he wore the ring. Even though the deal fell through, the friendship was still there, wasn't it?

But Deadpool refused:

"Wait, wait... I can't say things like that that's inappropriate for children! My story is at most R-rated, not R/1/8/G!"

However, Deadpool had already devised a solution. He teleported into the manor and, with almost no effort, found a drunken, unconscious man lying on the ground. Then, he grabbed the man's belt and teleported back to Joey's side.

"This person definitely knows what G-Men is all about."

This person was none other than the "Warlord" who had previously reprimanded Deadpool at the banquet table, calling him a starving ghost.

"What's that saying again—'The Lannisters always pay their debts!'"

Deadpool straddled the unconscious Warlord, ripped off his comical Spartan helmet, and unleashed a barrage of attacks on his face with both hands.

Fortunately, the superhuman's physical abilities were indeed outstanding. This fight finally made the opponent vomit up his dinner from the night before, and also sobered him up.

"You son of a bitch, are you tired of living?!"

The war lord clearly still didn't understand the situation. He raised his arm in retaliation, but the difference between a celebrity who indulged in a life of pleasure and a professional top-tier mercenary was obvious.

Deadpool drew his sword from his back 0.1 seconds before the Warlord raised his arm, sending it away from him forever.

"Next, you'll have to answer all the questions this guy, Cavill, has to ask. But I suggest you start by talking about how your G-Men kidnap children and how you turn them into your own people..."

Deadpool ignored the other's screams, skillfully wiped the blood off his knife with the other's clothes, and sheathed it.

"By the way, don't say stupid things like, 'Oh, they'll kill me if I tell them.'"

The G-Men might just kill you, but if I don't get what I want, I'll kill your whole family, your friends, your entire network of relationships, and then I'll consider whether to kill you or not.

Deadpool's posture sent chills down Starlight's spine. Even through the mask, Starlight, whose scalp tingled, could tell that the other party was not joking, let alone Warlord, who was in the middle of the pressure.

"That's enough!"

Joey reached out and stopped Deadpool's intimidation, which greatly changed Starlight's impression of him—it seems that 'Superman' is not as bad as she initially thought.

Then Joey's next move changed Starlight's attitude even more.

Because Joey shot heat vision directly from his eyes, scorching the severed ends of Warlord's two arms, he felt Deadpool's words were a bit too much:

"If you keep talking nonsense, he's going to bleed to death! — You, speak now!"

The war lord's already fragile psychological defenses had long since crumbled, and after such torment, he immediately revealed everything he knew:

"I'm begging you! Please, just give me a quick death!"

"Wait a minute!"

Deadpool then stopped the Warlord's confession.

What the other party was about to say had completely crossed the line for Disney movies. In order for his movie to be released smoothly, he had to run away with the camera before these words were spoken.

Deadpool pulled out his 3DS, which he'd gotten from the Time Mutation Bureau—it looked pretty much the same anyway, and its main function was to travel between dimensions.

He needs to hurry to the next world to find a suitable Wolverine and become an idol with him to save his universe.

"Thank you so much, Deadpool!"

Joey went up and hugged Deadpool, patting him affectionately on the back: "You've been a huge help to me!"

"Uh, you're welcome? But isn't it a little bit gay for us to be hugging like this?"

Deadpool never expected Superman to come up and give him a warm bear hug; even Batman probably hasn't received such treatment.

"I'm not saying this to be mean, but if we were to become a couple, it would be really unpopular. If it were posted on AO3, probably no one would even look at it."

Having bid farewell to this strange world, Deadpool opened a dimensional portal and traveled to the next universe.

"Pah! The last world was better!"

Deadpool landed in a desolate world, surrounded by sandstorms and skeletons. He knew he was in for a few more tough days.

Before Deadpool could even determine the direction, the sand in the distance began to tremble. The approaching behemoth made the sand beneath Deadpool's feet jump as if boiling. Then, an enormous sand worm burst out of the sand, opening its blood-red maw to swallow Deadpool whole.

Deadpool reached for his waist—he still had the time-traveling watch he'd stolen from Cable. This thing could not only travel through time, but also teleport him; all he had to do was press a button...

Deadpool's search yielded nothing.

A few days later, a pile of black and red feces appeared deep in the desert:

"Superman, I'm *****, you *****, you ** thing, born a ****, I'm ****!"