webnovelfull Ch. 86 - You Really Are a Jinx
Ch. 86 - You Really Are a Jinx
Fang Si glanced back from the driver's seat. "Dali, I thought you hated watching these streams. What happened—did Chen Pi corrupt you?""Sister Fang Si, can't help it. That's just how the world works. In the end, Dali became exactly what he used to hate."
Chen Shu gazed out the window with a melancholic expression. "But I'm different. I hate rich people the most. I'll probably never become one in this lifetime."
"Can you not spout bullshit?" Zhang Dali's mouth twitched. "She's a Silver-rank Spirit Chef! I'm learning technique here, you know?"
"Understood~ Understood~"
Chen Shu raised an eyebrow, wearing a sly grin. "Sister Fang Si, Dali really is just learning technique."
The three of them bantered and laughed the whole way, soon leaving the city behind.
Chen Shu suddenly spoke up. "Oh right, are you guys hungry? I brought snacks."
"What kind of snacks?" Zhang Dali looked over with eager anticipation.
"The most fire thing around—luosifen, obviously!"[1]
Chen Shu pulled out the river snail noodles from his urea bag.
Fang Si had been feeling hungry herself, but the moment she saw that fertilizer sack, her mouth twitched involuntarily. "You're using a urea bag to carry FOOD?"
Chen Shu blinked innocently. "Uh... is there a problem?"
"Forget it. You two can have it." Fang Si sighed.
"Dali, get your iron wok out. Sister Fang Si, lend us your fire dragon."
Chen Shu licked his lips in excitement.
Fang Si's expression froze. "You want to use my Scarlet Flame Dragon... to cook river snail noodles?"
Chen Shu and Zhang Dali both nodded as if this were the most natural thing in the world.
In the back seat, Zhang Dali excitedly held up his iron wok while beside him, the Scarlet Flame Dragon wore a look of utter resentment, continuously radiating flames from its body.
The value of contract spirits was being squeezed dry by Chen Shu.
...
That afternoon, the group successfully arrived at Taiqing Mountain.
Looking at the endless mountain range stretching before them, all three felt a wave of refreshing coolness. Thanks to the altitude, Taiqing Mountain was a popular summer retreat.
"Let's rest for the night first."
They got out of the car and headed to their pre-booked hotel.
Early the next morning, the three of them set out in high spirits, beginning their mountain-climbing journey.
Fang Si led the way, feeling the cool breeze on her face. She turned back and asked, "Chen Pi, Dali—when was the last time we climbed a mountain together?"
Zhang Dali thought back. "Last time? I think it was before my high school entrance exam."
Chen Shu didn't say much, but as he recalled his old memories, it was indeed true—the three of them had climbed this mountain before his entrance exam.
Although in his original world there was no beast taming, everything else had remained the same.
The trio followed the bustling stream of tourists up the path.
"You three have excellent physiques!"
A white-haired old man called out with a smile.
The three of them moved with flying feet, showing no signs of breathlessness whatsoever.
Zhang Dali, carrying pots and pans on his back, replied, "Your body seems pretty good too, sir! Any health secrets you'd like to share?"
The old man wheezed out his answer. "Health secrets? That would be staying up late—every single night! Look at me, I'm already 24 this year, and my complexion is still great!"[2]
"..."
All three stumbled, nearly losing their footing. Give us a break, old man!
Chen Shu suddenly asked curiously, "Sister Fang Si, how strong are you now?"
"How should I put it..." Fang Si thought for a moment. "Someone like that 'young man' over there? I could probably beat a hundred of them no problem."
"We should respect our elders..." Zhang Dali said weakly.
The three hiked quickly. Though Chen Shu and Zhang Dali hadn't undergone any physical enhancement, their fitness was definitely better than average.
As the altitude increased, the temperature dropped.
They didn't follow the tourist routes, instead heading toward the undeveloped areas.
With Fang Si's strength, she could rampage through Common-level Alternate Dimensions with ease, let alone a simple tourist destination.
Along the way, the three took plenty of photos of the beautiful scenery, lifting everyone's spirits.
As night fell, the trio reached deep into the mountains where there wasn't another soul in sight.
Fang Si looked up at the darkening sky. "Let's set up camp here for tonight."
With that, she pulled out the tent from her backpack, preparing to rest for the night. Even at their pace, it would take three or four days to traverse Taiqing Mountain completely.
ROAR!
Fang Si summoned her Frost Dragon. Though it wasn't at full strength due to its condition, deterring ordinary wildlife was no problem.
The Frost Dragon suppressed its frost aura, standing guard like a loyal sentinel.
The three built a campfire. Open flames were prohibited in the tourist zones, but with the Frost Dragon present, there was no need to worry about starting a forest fire.
Zhang Dali set up his iron wok and brought out various vegetables and meats—they were actually going to cook hotpot in the mountains.
"Dali, your cooking really is something else."
Chen Shu picked up a slice of fatty beef, savoring it with a satisfied expression.
Fang Si dug in heartily as well, praising Zhang Dali's culinary skills.
Chen Shu said, "Honestly, right now this feels just like being in an Alternate Dimension."
As he spoke, he pointed at a dark shadow on a nearby tree.
"If this were an Alternate Dimension, I'd totally think that was a fierce beast. Don't you think it looks like one?"
Fang Si and Zhang Dali both shook their heads, focusing on their food.
But that shadow seemed to be some kind of giant flying insect, wings beating as it drew closer.
By the light of the campfire, Chen Shu's expression suddenly froze.
A massive flying insect, easily half a meter long, spread open its grotesque mandibles. Ink-black saliva dripped from them as it hurtled straight toward him.
"Holy shit! Are you kidding me?!"
Chen Shu let out a sudden roar. Zhang Dali nearly jumped out of his skin.
Only Fang Si reacted with lightning speed. The Frost Giant Dragon charged over in an instant and swallowed the giant insect whole.
Fang Si glared at him. "You really ARE a jinx!"[3]
The Frost Dragon spat out its mouthful. A black beetle lay there, already stone dead, its body completely encased in frost.
"It's an impure-blooded Black Beetle! A fierce beast from the Demon River Plains!"
With her wealth of experience, Fang Si immediately identified the creature.
"No way we're this unlucky?"
Chen Shu scanned their surroundings. There were fierce beasts on Taiqing Mountain?! What kind of joke was this?!
Fang Si remained extremely calm in the face of fierce beasts. "The Demon River Plains breached about a hundred years ago. It was quickly suppressed, but some fierce beasts were left behind on Blue Star."
"This is a species born from Black Beetles breeding with Blue Star insects."
Fang Si furrowed her brow, continuing her analysis.
If there were only these pseudo-fierce beasts around, it wouldn't be a big deal—they'd just report it to the Spirit Suppression Bureau for investigation.
But the real concern was whether Taiqing Mountain still harbored original Black Beetles from a hundred years ago. Surviving for a century would mean they possessed stealth abilities, and more importantly, considerable intelligence.
"So what do you two think?"
Fang Si looked up at the other two, and her expression instantly froze.
Chen Shu and Zhang Dali had already packed up the tent, stowed away all the pots and pans, and looked completely ready to bolt.
"..."
I've been analyzing this whole time and nobody was even listening?
"Sister Fang Si, what's there to talk about?!" Chen Shu finished securing his urea bag. "Let's get out of Taiqing Mountain first, THEN call the Spirit Suppression Bureau hotline and collect the reward!"
[1] Luosifen (螺螄粉) - Famous Guangxi noodles made with fermented snail broth. Notoriously pungent—one of China's "stinkiest" foods.
[2] White-Haired Youth - This subverts a cultivation novel trope where white hair = ancient magical elder. The joke: he's just 24 and unhealthy from sleep deprivation.
[3] Jinx (烏鴉嘴, literally "Crow's Mouth") - Chinese superstition meaning someone whose words curse reality into happening.